Creeping up on me...

As much as I want to walk forward, I always hear the voices of my past creeping up on me. The "you are not good enoughs" or "they'll always talk about you behind your back." I continue to question my my own worth, even though I know I am worthy. Worrying that I don't fit the mold, the norm...this generally happens when I make new friends, knowing that I have a crazy past, feeling as if I somehow have to prove myself as worthy. Its days like today, when there is quiet for a few minutes that I reflect on what I know is true. The past is the past...the future has not yet occurred and all I have is right now, who I am today defines me. Today, I am a loving mother,today I am a wife who is trying to be a better one, today I am a writer. Each day I perfect what I put my heart into, we perfect whatever it is we practice. Now my goal is no perfection, my goal is to be more Christ like. To have his patience, heart and love, to think higher of others than myself....thats a hard one! I think I need to just take a step back from myself and look from the outside and let the Lord whisper into my soul and heart how he thinks of me....worthy...beautiful...loving....a princess...His girl. I do not need toe worlds approval nor do I need the past defining who I am. I am Alyssa and I think I'm just going to have to accept that I am loved and perfectly me. xo